There's an answer here for the Roche limit (somewhere between touching each other and 2800 km depending on composition).
The oblateness of the Earth is caused by centrifugal forces induced by rotation about its axis. If you want an Earth-like planet to have Earth-like oblateness, it needs to have an Earth-like rotational period, about 24 hours.
Now, you want the two planets to be tidally locked. This means they're orbiting each other at the same speed they're rotating about their axes. Since we want axial rotation to be 24 hours, we want orbital period to be 24 hours.
From this random Google result, we get the derivation of the orbital period of binary stars. The assumptions they make about the stars should hold for our Earth-like planets, and gravity is gravity.
$2\pi\sqrt{{(M+m)^2 r^3\over GM^3}}=T$
From above and a quick Google search, we know $T=24h=86400s$, $M=m=5.972\cdot 10^{24} kg$, and $G=6.67408\cdot 10^{-11}{m^3\over kg\cdot s^2}$. We just need to solve for radius.
$\sqrt{{(2M)^2 r^3\over GM^3}}={T\over 2\pi}$ -- subst $M+m=2M$, div sides by $2\pi$
${4M^2 r^3\over GM^3}={T^2\over 4\pi^2}$ -- square sides, subst $(2M)^2=2^2M^2=4M^2$
$r^3={T^2GM^3\over 16\pi^2M^2}$ -- div sides by $4M^2$, mult sides by $GM^3$
$r^3={T^2GM\over 16\pi^2}$ -- reduce ${M^3\over M^2}=M$
$r=\sqrt[3]{T^2GM\over 16\pi^2}$ -- cube root sides
$r=\sqrt[3]{86400^2s^2\cdot 6.67408\cdot 10^{-11}{m^3\over kg\cdot s^2}\cdot 5.972\cdot 10^{24}kg\over 16\pi^2}$ -- sub known values
$r=\sqrt[3]{1.88417\cdot 10^{22}{s^2m^3kg\over s^2kg}}$ -- simplify numerical part, collect all units
$r=\sqrt[3]{1.88417\cdot 10^{22}}\sqrt[3]{m^3}$ -- $s^2$ and $kg$ cancel out, separate number and units
$r=2.66097\cdot 10^7 m$ -- simplify
$r=26,609,700m=26,610km$ -- convert to km
$26,610 km \gg 2800 km$, so you shouldn't have any trouble with the planets breaking apart.
As long as the moon isn't ridiculously close, it shouldn't affect the outcome. The given Roche limit seems unsettlingly small to me, but appears to be valid from the links given on the other page.